“Where have you been all my life?!”

“That has got to be a soul calling because you were THAT good!”

“You were on FIRE last night! That was freakin’ amazing!!”

“Best.Night.Of.My.Life!”

“When can we do it again?!”

The praise was flowing.
The women were buzzing.
And I was glowing with gratitude.

I had just wrapped up leading a guided sacred dance party for 100+ women at the Radical Self Love Party in Brisbane.  It was one of the wildest experiences of my life (see photo below).Screen Shot 2014-04-02 at 12.12.20 AM

Photo credit.

This was only my second time leading a sacred dance party and yet I felt like I’d be doing it forever.  And to some degree I have been.  Just never exactly like this…not in this form.

You see, leading sacred dance parties has actually been in the making for 20+ years.  I just didn’t know it until I had the opportunity to lead one.  And when I did lead my first one (which was for 20 women at a health retreat), it felt like all the fragmented parts of myself finally came together and I felt complete.  And when I led my second one (which was was for 100+ women at the Radical Self Love party mentioned above), it became very clear that I was to do more of this.

So here’s the story on how I came to lead sacred dance parties (and maybe it’ll give you some clues on how you too can integrate your past passions with your current desires/dreams):

// I’m in primary school. Can’t remember the exact age. I’m guessing 6 or 7. I went to my first aerobics class with my mum (leaving me home alone wasn’t an option and creche didn’t exist in those country town gyms).  When the music started and the women started cheering I was captivated, mesmerised, even hypnotised…especially by the instructor.  I wanted what she had…even her skin colour shimmering tights.

// I start high school. I’m 12 going on 13. Aerobics/circuit classes becomes a compulsory part of my fitness training.  I freakin’ LOVE it!!  Working out to music, and moving in sync with the music makes me come alive. I’m addicted! The endorphin high becomes my drug of choice during my highschool years.

// I move to the city and start University. I’m 17 going on 18. First thing I do is join a gym that has group fitness classes – working out has become a lifestyle for me now.  Within 6 months I have my Cert III in Fitness, my first Les Mills certification and my very own permanent timeslot at one of Brisbane’s best gyms in the city.

// For the next 8 years I devote my life to being a Group Fitness Teacher. I’m not sure what I was addicted to more: the endorphin hit of high intensity cardio mixed with super loud (awesome) music, or the thrill of taking my participants higher and higher and higher…to places they couldn’t go alone.

(Advice: wherever you’re having the most fun in your life, keep doing that! And forget the rest!)

// During this time, I become skilled in 5 key elements of teaching a kick ass class: choreography, technique, coaching, connecting and fitness magic.  These elements get drummed into me, so much so that they have become part of my DNA.  As a result,  I don’t hear music like most people do.  When I hear a song that hits me in the right spot, I don’t just feel it deep in my bones but I see it.  I see the beats, the phrases, the frames, the lyrics, the cues.  I see the movement, the room, the layout, the people…and in some cases, I even see the outfits.

(It’s because of this training and experience that I find it incredibly easy to integrate music with movement and intention to create an inner journey towards empowerment, ecstatic bliss and transformation.)

// Then, in March 2010 I found myself at the other extreme: a 10 day silent meditation retreat. Turns out my body needed a break. Or more accurately, my soul needed some nurturing. So I declare I was never teaching again.  And to be sure of it, I give away thousands of dollars worth of music and choreography notes while the rest went into a bonfire.  I was compelled to burn bridges – turning back wasn’t an option.  And so began my love affair with the magic and power of silence and stillness.

// Nine months later I’m teaching again (no matter how hard you try, there are some aspects of yourself you can’t deny). But I stay well away from the gym world and instead, I enter the world of yoga.

Here I learn to hold my seat, to slow down and to synchronise movement with breath (compared to movement with music).  I learn to read the energy of the individual students and the collective energy in the room.  I learn to resist my automatic urge to manipulate the energy to higher (happier) vibrations and instead drop deeper with what is present in any given moment as that was where the real magic was.  This in turn helped me to let go of always relying on a rigid plan and instead activate my intuitive abilities while increasing my capacity to teach on the fly.

(In other words, teaching yoga totally transformed my approach to teaching movement and expanded my ability to connect with every single person in my class.)

// July 2012. I’m starting to experience an inner tension when I teach my yoga classes…the kind of inner tension that shows up when only part of yourself is being expressed and the other part is trapped, dying to come out and play…except, you have no idea how to unleash it.  I persist with teaching yoga but wonder how much more of this I can take.

// January 2013. I attend my first 5Rhythms class.  I am reminded how liberating it is to move to music without being told precisely how to move with every single breath.  I attend 2 more classes but 5Rhythms just isn’t my thing.

// March 2013. I attend an impromptu chakra dance class in New Mexico while on retreat led by one of the participants from Eucador.  I had the most powerful vision during the 6th chakra meditation track.  This vision came true immediately after class.  It spooked me out but more than anything it reminded me to trust my visions more. And it reinforced my interest in working with the chakras. But overall, it just wasn’t my thing.

That same month on that same trip, I also attend a Nia class in Santa Fe.  I lasted only 20mins.  It’s the second class I’ve ever walked out of in my life (the first was a yoga class that left me mortified and wondering how that particular teacher could be certified).  Turns out, choreography style dance is not what I want.  And neither was the playlist.  And neither was the instructor.


You see, when it comes to a dance class I crave the kind of music you’d hear in a nightclub…and I crave it loud.

I crave the free form dance but I crave the guidance of a skilled teacher too. I want someone to challenge me, to push me to my edges, to explore new parts of myself and to crack me open.

I also crave a safe space where I’m free to express ALL of me…even my sexual erotic self.  And I want to do this without worrying that I’m being “too sexual” or “inappropriate”. Or worse yet, have it be misinterpreted and therefore attract unwanted attention.

With that said, I crave a space that’s not only about expressing my sexual erotic self. I want to have fun, I want to release, I wanna go wild and I wanna feel free in my body, in my mind, in my heart and in my soul.  And most importantly, I want to leave feeling euphoric, inspired, powerful, nourished and free. I want to feel like anything is possible and that I have what it takes for my dreams to come true and for my desires to be fulfilled.

Unfortunately, I couldn’t find what I was looking for.


// Meanwhile, my friend Jess Ainscough asks me to teach a “yoga rave” session at her Wellness Warrior Retreat. I say NO as I have no desire to teach a yoga rave.  However, I tell her to give me 60mins and I’ll create the best sacred dance session these women have ever experienced.

And I did.
And it was.

That night, everything perfectly aligned….
The part of me that loves the sacredness of yoga and meditation…
The part of me that loves the ecstatic joy of dance…
The part of me that loves to lead, inspire, motivate, teach, entertain and uplift…
And the part of me that loves creative freedom.

It all got to be expressed in one place, one moment.  And as a result, I felt complete..I felt full…I felt like myself.

// Later that month, Yvette Luciano who was blown away with the dance session at the retreat, asked me to do it all again for her Earth Events Radical Self Love Party and I said HELL YES!

It’s been 5 months since that night. And I’ve lost count of the number of times women have asked me, “When is the next sacred dance party?”

Well, the date has finally been set. 

Friday May 9th. Brisbane. It’s time to dance.

For more details + tickets click here.

Love Sex Desire Embodied poster v3.2 CLICK HERE

PS. I have been asked if these sacred dance parties are coming to a city near you.  At this stage there are no plans. Brisbane is where it’s at!  However, if you’d love for a Sacred Dance Party to come to a city near you, by all means be sure to let me know.

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Love Sex Desire Embodied poster v3.2 CLICK HERE

 

Last time, it was a Radical Self Love Sacred Dance Party. This time, it’s LOVE SEX DESIRE Embodied, a sacred dance party to ignite your soul!

We’re going deeper and darker.
We’re going higher and brighter.

There will be more FUN.
There will be more MUSIC.
There will be more UNLEASHING.

It will be soulful and sacred.
It will be sexy and wild.
It will be empowering and life-changing.

It will take you back to your party days where you felt TOTALLY FREE AND ALIVE…except, you won’t need drugs or alcohol to get there. And you definitely won’t wake up with a regrettable hangover.

Instead, you’ll have so much ENERGY and CREATIVITY and CONFIDENCE and ECSTATIC JOY you won’t even recognise yourself. And that’s a promise.

BRISBANE, Get ready to dance! 
Friday May 9 

**Only 100 tickets available**

PS. This party only happens once in a blue moon. You do not want to miss this! And neither will your friends – be sure to let them know.

TESTIMONIALS:

Your guided dance reminded me of my goddess like tendency to dance which I have completely neglected for far too long. It’s time to dance more. ~ Melissa, QLD

That was exactly what I needed! ~  Lauren, QLD

I just wanted to say a massive thank you for the guided sacred dance. It was amazing. I really needed that sort of movement and left the party feeling alive. ~ Anita, QLD

Thankyou! I can’t remember the last time I danced liked that. It felt soooo good. ~ Megan, QLD

I was at your sacred dance party a month ago and I have seriously thought about it EVERYDAY since. It was radddd!!! ~ Lauren, QLD

It was truly magical! ~ Fabienne, QLD
 
I’m married. And I’m straight. But I think I just fell in love with you. And every woman in here, including myself! ~ Megan, QLD

I want to go back and do it all over again! ~ Courtney, QLD

It was like meditating and releasing with high energy soul! ~ Julie, VIC

You were amazing last night!!!! More dance parties I reckon!! ~ Courtney, QLD

My goodness you are an absolute goddess! Loved the dance party last night. Definitely in need of more. ~ Sophie, QLD

I’m wishing you held dance parties in Melbourne! Please come here soon! Come on, I know you want to! ~ Sabina, VIC

That was a fun, soulful and deeply moving experience. Susana you rock! ~ Kylie, QLD

So.Much.Fun! ~ Amanda, QLD

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HOT WOMEN TO WATCH is a monthly feature where I put the spotlight on one powerful and soulful woman whose work I’m appreciating and cheering on because something tells me this is just the beginning.

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Move over bikini bootcamps and constant striving for body perfection.  It’s time you all indulged in some Wabi-Sabi lovin’.

A fusion of movement, meditation and massage that will have you in a steady state of loving where you are and how your clothes hang..

unique (and transformative) style of personal training integrating physical, nutritional, environmental, emotional and spiritual components to help you return to a state of healthy balance and well-being.

A practice igniting your senses so you can celebrate all that life has to offer

Today’s HOT WOMAN TO WATCH is the Founder of the Wabi-Sabi Method and Personal Trainer (who is more like a relationship counsellor for your mind and body and soul), Brieann Boal from Byron Bay, Australia.

Since a couple of my friends started training with her, they haven’t stopped raving about her. If I lived further south, Brieann’s the kind trainer I’d choose to work with.

But it wasn’t until I chose her to be this month’s HOT WOMAN TO WATCH that I got to really know Brieann.  In fact, all it took was two words “shamanic dearmouring” and her recommended book list, for my curiosity to spike to an all time high.

This curiosity prompted a phone conversation, pronto.  I had a burning question.  Our intended 30-60min chat turned into almost two hours.  And had Brieann’s clients not start turning up for a session, who knows how long we would of spoken for.  Especially when you realise that you’ve both been swimming in the same ocean but riding different waves, and yet you’ve someone managed to land on the same shore.

She is deep, grounded, relaxed, sensual, honest, intelligent and heart-warming.

Definitely keep your eyes on this woman. There are many brilliant and exciting things unfolding in her world that will change the way you approach fitness, health and body love.

Introducing Brieann Boal…


{Lets start with the deep and meaningful}

From breakdown to breakthrough, what was this moment for you?  The defining moment that changed e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.

 I don’t think there’s just one.

The truth works in puzzles – there’s always a build up of fragmental shifts before i slide into a new paradigm. I’d be lying to say there was just one pivotal moment. However, I feel like the question calls for a snapshot. So I’ll zoom in on ‘body image’.

There was a ‘moment’ in a hall, out the back of the beyond, on a Shamanic de-armoring retreat. I won’t go into detail – words only point at full meaning and none seem to contain the vague ethereal feelings/forces at work in that small space.

It was one of the last practices of the course. The conditions were perfectly coordinated/divinely designed for me to be wildly triggered. The person I was partnered with, the nature of the activities involved, the emotional scar tissue we were tapping into. I was an energetic land mind.

Half way through the session, there was an uprush of feeling. Too much for me to be with, too much for me to stay put. I couldn’t, so I didn’t.

I grabbed my flimsy sarong and I ran. I ran straight out of the room, I ran out of the retreat grounds, I ran deep into the forest until I came to a clearing, fell in a heap and wept (it was probably more like a howling wail than a gentle weeping) Anyway, as the emotional-dust settled, i saw clearly. Patterns and programs, the involuntary reflex responses that moved me.

I saw that this is what I always did.

I ran.

I had programmed myself to run, to leave my body, escape what was happening, whatever I didn’t want to be with.

I saw how this had served a purpose (long ago) and over time evolved into a chronic state of ‘being’;
I saw how estranged my body was from my mind, disassociated and desensitised;
I saw how being ‘out-of-my-body’ opened the door to self destructive, broken behavior and closed the door to the kind of truth and intimacy my heart ached for.

I could trace the blood lines back to the source of all surface issues, to the exact point I decided “there’s something wrong with me”, with my body. I could see the hollow centre of all my seemingly solid, long-held beliefs.

What was left after this freight-train-of-truth had thundered past?
The loveliest, lightest, most sublime sense of euphoria.
Like nothing I’d ever experienced before,
I felt like I had arrived

What has been the most challenging thing to let go of so you could put yourself first (be it your health or your desires or your inner wisdom)?  And what helped you let it go?

Ego. Something I’m constantly putting aside (and probably forever will be) so my ‘SELF’ (awareness) can show up.

What helps me let it go? A daily (several times daily) invocation to a silent whisper to source, ‘Thank you for allowing me to be a clear channel for love and light, for whatever healing energy is needed.’

I’m very human, ever-always remembering and forgetting. I find this little ritual pulls me instantly into what’s real and true. Aside from this, there’s a swag of self renewing rituals + practices I draw from: throwing myself in the ocean, getting a sweat on, meditation, mantras, affirmations, gratitude rituals and acts of service all help get me out of my head and into my heart, where I feel the present moment resides.

Why do you do what you do?

We teach what we most need to learn.

I hadn’t always framed it this way. I used to think my personal struggles were something to hide. That they somehow undermined my credibility.

I’ve come to realise how inverted and up-side-down this idea is. Without all those years of puzzle-piecing, I wouldn’t have such a insatiable compulsion to do what I do.

Movement is biochemical bliss. Intention-setting, yoga, dynamic meditation, vigorous exercise, are my soul-salves. The Wabi-sabi method is a life raft I reach for daily…one I feel guided to throw to others.

When do you feel most powerful, free, alive & turned on?

When I’m in the ocean. There’s a feeling like coming home.

I’ve read somewhere that the fluid in a mother’s womb is almost identical to sea-water. It’s a bit of an oxymoron isn’t it? Pre-birth conditions are where I feel most alive. The way I see it, below the surface is where I’m closest to ‘truth’. It’s where I feel most connected, sensual and free

What excites you most about 2014?

Everything…New ideas, people, places. Being in the right place at the right time. Reaching new heights of euphoria and success and exploring unchartered depths of connectivity and creativity. Experiencing magic beyond my wildest dreams.

Every year is a galaxy of infinite possibilities but in 2014, I’m going to be especially wonderstruck.

What’s your current growth edge?

Collapsing the notion that to staying humble is synonymous with staying ‘quiet ‘and ‘small’.

What books are you always telling people to read?

Shantaram – Gregory David Roberts

The Tao of Health, Sex and Longevity – by Daniel Reid

Anything by Eckhart Tolle (A New Earth, The Power Of Now and Stillness Speaks etc)

Higher and Higher – Jost Sauer

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear: SWEAT?

salt water therapy

{Now for the short and sweet…}

I’m interested in…the stories our bodies tell (size, shape, injuries and imbalances – they’re all psychosomatic signposts), cellular memory, neuroplasticity, the body-mind connection and our capacity to heal, transcend and regenerate.

Movement, metaphysics, meditation, creativity,

The intersection of science and spirituality; Biophilia (the wisdom in nature); Zen Buddhist teachings, Wabi-sabi and all things that fall under the umbrella of ‘Wellness’.

Anymore and i’ll fall out of the ‘ short and sweet’ category so i’ll wrap it up there.

I believe… in the power of belief.

I no longer…have the compulsion to ‘stuff my inner emptiness’

I desire…grace, poise, love and light… in all I do.

In my experience…love is paramount.


CONNECT WITH BRIEANN MORE

Website | Facebook | Instagram

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Screen Shot 2014-04-02 at 12.12.20 AM

 

FRIDAY NIGHT / MAY 9th.

Save the date. And tell your friends.

Details coming soon!


 

What they’ve been saying:

Your guided dance reminded me of my goddess like tendency to dance which I have completely neglected for far too long. It’s time to dance more. 

When are you starting classes? We’ll be your most devoted students. That was wild!

I just wanted to say a massive thank you for the guided sacred dance. It was amazing. I really needed that sort of movement and left the party feeling alive.

Thankyou! I can’t remember the last time I danced liked that. It felt soooo good.

I was at your sacred dance party a month ago and I have seriously thought about it EVERYDAY since. It was radddd!!!

It was truly magical!
 
I’m married. And I’m straight. But I think I just fell in love with you. And every woman in here, including myself!

I want to go back and do it all over again!

You transcended my shyness about letting it all out on the dance floor. It was like meditating and releasing with high energy soul!

You were amazing last night!!!! More dance parties I reckon!!

My goodness you are an absolute goddess! Loved the dance party last night. Definitely in need of more.

I’m wishing you held dance parties in Melbourne! Please come here soon! Come on, I know you want to…

That was a fun, soulful and deeply moving experience. Susana you rock!

 


 

Like I said, save the date and lets dance!

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If you missed part one, go here now and read it first.  Otherwise, let the journey continue…

January 2014

  • It’s 2014. The year is fresh. The slate is clean. The canvas is crisp white. I’m ready to make some sexy art I call life.  I spend a full day mapping out 2014. I declare my word for the year and my core desire feelings. I call in the Goddesses to be on my cosmic support team.  It’s time to get out from behind the scenes AND behind the screens. And by the look of the retreats I’m feeling called to attend this year, it’s time for more soul embodiment and deeper sexual explorations.
  • I receive my official Deep Coaching Certification. This training changed my life. Say no more.
  • I start to venture back on online. But I stay away from ALL facebook groups and everything to do with the madness of December.  As Brendon Burchard says, “People on a path of purpose don’t have time for drama.”
  • I meet with this babe in a cafe to discuss my next career move.  Clarity is the goal. Confusion is the outcome. Patience is the medicine.  I want to move NOW (god damn it!) but all signs are saying not yet.  Plans need to be revised. There’s more going on than meets the eye. I surrender.
  • The next S&M Conversations interview is set to go live but is canned literally moments before I hit publish. Something tells me this segment is trying to get my attention but I don’t know what it’s trying to tell me.  Again, I’m reminded to be patient and all will be revealed.
  • I see a photo of me with a mic in my hand along side Brene Brown and Alanis Morissette.  I’m taking it as a sign that all is well and that my energetic vibration is way bigger than I’m honouring. So I surrender. And when I think I can’t surrender any more, well, I surrender even more.  Simultaneously, I announce LEAD WITH SOUL.
  • Beyonce drops her latest self-titled album. She has finally given herself permission to express her sexuality FULLY through her art. She reminds me to quit holding back, to go all out. Meanwhile, Beyonce’s partitions video clip, convinces me that she downloaded some of the same visions I received in my 8th chakra. Either that, or I just need to go visit Crazy Horse in Paris, the inspiration behind that song.
  • Twelfth soul essence is complete.  Next up, Chakra 9 journey.  But first I need a breather.

 

February 2014.

  • My mantra for the month is “I am open to all possibilities”. 
  • I’m asked to write a guest post on freedom and because this word is the reason I do what I do, I’m able to share a sneak peek into one of my 8th chakra meditation experiences where I am reminded that one’s purpose to run free is enough.
  • I spend half a day at a Korean Bathhouse. I observe the importance of this ritual amongst the asian women here. I’m intrigued. My day ends with a 90 minute full body sea salt scrub and massage. I’m reminded how important and essential touch is, especially when you’re living the solo life. Meanwhile, I dream of visiting day spas weekly…and not just once a week.
  • This wild dreaming leads to wild dares. I dare myself to tell a new story, to throw it all away, to jump ship, to go rogue, to burn it all, to risk losing it all, to die…and to be reborn (again).  That’s why I wrote this post.
  • S&M conversations tells me it wants an upgrade. I start noticing the word “podcast” everywhere. I put two and two together and realise these conversations on sex and love are craving a bigger platform, on iTunes apparently. Oh, and it wants a new name, LOVE SEX DESIRE. I’m not entirely sure what this all really means but I think, “Cool, I’ll rename it and shift it onto iTunes. No big deal. I already have my February interviewee lined up. I’ll just push it back to March so I can give myself 2 weeks to sort it out.” Ahhhh….the perks of being naive.
  • Everyone’s asking me about the next sacred dance party.  I tell them it’s coming soon. Really really really soon. If only I could find the perfect venue!
  • I discover Allie Theiss. I have a sexual energy reading with her (highly recommend!). I read her book Out of Body Ecstasy in a day. This book explains so much of what I’ve been experiencing most of my life, but now I don’t feel like such a crazy woman.
  • Closure.  I never knew something could taste so bitter-sweet…yet feel so peaceful.
  • I have a coaching session with my Deep Coaching mentor (for the record, all great coaches have coaches).  The outcome of exploring my inner terrain is this: “Let your light carry you. There’s nothing for you to do Susana.” Got it! There’s nothing for me to do. Except, my inner critic is struggling to grasp this one.
  • Later that week, a new wave of male energy enters my orbit. Dinner and a night out with four men proves to be enlightening and eye-opening as we delved into hot topics on life, business, sex and love.  The best discussions (and insights) happened at the strip club. This was a practice in non-judgment, acceptance, curiosity and most importantly, ignoring the story and seeing the soul.  Plus, there is great power in experiencing contrast.
  • I receive a message from my friend in the US. It reads, “the amount of synchronicity in my life is bordering on enough to invoke a psychotic episode.”  I couldn’t agree more. The people I’m meeting, the conversations I’m having, the articles I’m discovering, the books I’m reading, the emails landing in my inbox, the stories being shared with me, the experiences I’m having…it’s all blowing my mind WIDE open.

March 2014.

  • A have a session with Belinda. It’s been 2.5 months since I last spoke with her. My 8th chakra journey is complete.  I feel full. I’m not yet ready to journey into my 9th chakra. I need more time to digest.
  • Meanwhile, LOVE SEX DESIRE has asked to for it’s home to be beautified.  I contact a web designer and I find myself having a photo shoot with this drop dead gorgeous babe. She hires a studio, I bring the music and together we make magic.  And the dress I wear is called VENUS by FAITHFULL. No surprises here!
  • The following day I have a kinesiology session with Mel. Apparently there’s lots of Goddess energy in my 9th chakra, in particular Goddess Freya. I’m not surprised – she’s been on my cosmic team since the beginning of 2013, except now she’s leading the pack.  I spend most of the session swimming in liquid gold. At one stage, I’m covered in a gazillion shimmering stars (it reminds me of this scene from Fern Gully). It’s pure ecstasy. I tell Mel that I feel like I’m making love with the elements.
  • Before I leave, Mel shows me this link on Goddess Freya. It’s a photo I’ve never seen before and I can’t help but notice she’s all gold. We scroll further down and there’s a ritual suggestion called, making love with the elements.  I am officially a believer. Shit just got real!
  • By the end of the week, LOVE SEX DESIRE has a new logo, but she’s not ready for the world this month like I originally thought. Instead she’s asking for a slow burn (a new concept for me in more ways than one). She tells me she’ll be ready on Friday June 6th. I start to cry. I’m instantly teleported back 9 years ago. A defining moment of my life. One day to be written in a book. But right now, in these tears, I know a cycle has come to a complete end.  And my soul has been revived and is leading the way. 
  • And, I finally found a venue for a sacred dance party. Except it’s not just a sacred dance party.  It’s LOVE SEX DESIRE Embodied. (Save the date, Friday May 9, Brisbane)

Let the adventures continue.

(And if you want to stay up to date, be sure to subscribe to my newsletter list. This is where the fun stuff is shared first.)


 

PS. For those wanting to know more about the 8th chakra journey check out Belinda Davidson’s School of the Modern Mystic. Enrolments close TODAY March 31 and open only once a year. So if you’re feeling the call, all I can say is trust it.  And be sure to let me know if you join!

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“I’m definitely not coming home the same woman.  Seriously, there’s nothing left!  I thought this quarter life crisis was well and truly over. Fuck! This is that double whammy Saturn Return my astrologer spoke of.  Ahhhhhh….this soul journey better be worth the ride coz I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”

These were my parting words to my best friend before I boarded the plane to America.

I literally felt like I boarded that plane with nothing. Just me and my bags.  I felt naked. And raw. And totally clueless as to why I was even going back to America seeing I had been there only six months earlier.  This trip felt greedy and selfish, at least from my ego’s point of view.

Deep down though, I knew I had no choice.  My Soul led me here.

So what really happened during my trip to America?
What really happened when I returned home?
And what’s really been happening ever since?

The reason I’m sharing this with you now is because, well, I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I’m not the kind of the person to share my stuff for the sake of being “vulnerable”.  If I don’t deem my stories and lived experiences useful, you’ll never hear about it.

But this, my journey into my 8th chakra and how it’s impacted my life…now this is useful. Especially for those who wonder if it’s really true that you can connect/access/download your life purpose direct from your 8th chakra.

In short, my answer is yes.

If you were to also ask if I believe this is the only way, my answer would be no. I know lot of people living their purpose who didn’t do this work. But for me, this is my path, my journey, my story.  I  chose to walk this path long before I was given the opportunity. Now, I’m here living it.

So lets wind the clock back six months ago, to where things really started to shift. 

October 2013:

  • After 12 months of working solidly on my first 7 chakras, venturing into my 8th chakra and meeting my 12 soul essences with Belinda as my mentor, I begin phase II of the 8th chakra journey where my 12 soul essences show me their world.  First up is the hummingbird, the bird that takes my breath away and instantly brings me so much joy! (If only they lived here in Australia!).
  • I fly to America for Emerging Women Live in Boulder, Colorado. I’m surrounded by 300 other incredible women, many who I already know, thanks to the internet. I’m even rooming with one of these beautiful souls, Laurie, a fellow Enneagram Coach I met 3 years ago.
  • Whilst in Boulder, I make no “concrete” plans to meet anyone and instead I’m trusting in divine guidance and being in the flow. I recite my core desire feelings every morning and every night, along with this prayer:

“May this conference be exactly what I need. May I meet the people I need to meet. May the connections I make here be genuine and real. May this be the weekend that changes it all.”

(Be careful what you wish for, hey!?)

  • On the third day, I find myself in the hotel bar with 3 other divine women. One of those women is Sera Beak. As she finishes telling us something deep and profound about Her Red Lady, the crowd erupts into a wild cheer and we look over to see all the TV screens showing a sea of people wearing red shirts. We all burst out laughing.
  • The final night of Emerging Women Live calls for a dance party. I’m captivated by a woman on the dancefloor. I can’t take my eyes off her. She’s radiating pure joy. Turns out she teaches ecstatic dance and invites me to her class first thing Monday morning. I go and we end up having a coffee date immediately after to talk life, love and business.
  • My last night at the hotel includes dinner by the fire in the lobby with a small group of beautiful women sharing their stories. There are tears. There is laughter. Most importantly, there is love. The night finishes with me and this beauty chillin’ in the spa talking Soul truth. We’ve known of each other for 3 years and only NOW in this moment do our worlds collide.  No coincidence.
  • I land in Phoenix. The energy shifts dramatically. I’m here for only 48hrs. There’s no time to sleep or rest. I’m here to play! And I do. I feel at home here. I’m surrounded by hot women who love women, and gay men who make me laugh so hard my cheeks hurt. There’s poetry, music, dancing, magic, red wine, cocktails, dark chocolate and raspberries.  And the desert. Something about this desert makes my soul come alive.
  • While in Phoenix, I receive a facebook message from my friend back home cc’ing someone else saying:

Hi girls…you know when you think “shit yeah, similar stories, awesome women, these two should totally meet?” That’s what I’m thinking here.

Turns out this gorgeous soul is a sexologist & sex educator and our stories are so similar that it’s no coincidence I receive this email while I’m in Phoenix with Jeanette LeBlanc, the very woman who reached out to me after I wrote this post.

  • The moment I land in Los Angeles, I soak in a bath and catch up on sleep as I feel into the energy shift I experienced in Phoenix. I feel called to meditate and journey up into my 8th chakra. It’s confirmed. I’m in a new soul essence.
  • Before jumping on a plane back to Australia, I attend a birthday party in Malibu in one of the most stunning homes. I find myself observing the sexual energy rising in me and in others and how it’s being exchanged (intentionally or not). It trips me out and I wonder if I’m making this all up in my head. My plane ride is spent contemplating this energy and what it all means.
  • I have a session with Belinda. Our conversation revolves heavily around sexual energies and what I’m learning and how this is related to my soul purpose. For some reason, I’m so resistant to fully receiving this message.
  • 48 hours later I receive this email:

“Hi Susana. Hope you are well! Loved following your pics while you were in the States – looked like an amazing trip! So, I had a dream last night which told me I needed to email you and ask if you had any book/resource recommendations on female sexuality/sexual awakenings.  Thanks so much!”

I burst out laughing. The synchronicity’s are providing me with great amusement.

November 2013:

  • I teach a guided sacred dance session to 100+ women at the Earth Events Radical Self Love Party. It goes off! I receive stories and compliments all night and even up until this day such as:

Your guided dance reminded me of my goddess like tendency to dance which I have completely neglected for far too long. It’s time to dance more.

When are you starting classes? We’ll be your most devoted students. That was wild!
 
I’m married. And I’m straight. But I think I just fell in love with you. And every woman in here, including myself!

I just wanted to say a massive thank you for the guided sacred dance. It was amazing. I really needed that sort of movement and left the party feeling alive.

I was at your sacred dance party a month ago and I have seriously thought about it EVERYDAY since. It was radddd!!!

Got it! Host more dance parties. Bring women back to life. Help them turn back on.

  • This high HIGH was met with a low LOW. Intense experiences of grief and loneliness mixed with a wild terror. A kind of terror I had never experienced before (definitely a dark night of the soul kind of moment). I knew what was happening, even though I was extremely confused. I knew I had to surrender but the terror took over.
  • Two weeks passed and a “numbness” started to creep in. This was my red flag.  Pain is totally okay. For me, it means I’m alive. But numbness for me is a BIG danger zone.  So late one night, in the middle of an electrical storm, I reached out to the people I was most afraid of knowing what was really going on.  Hitting send felt like an epic lightning bolt jolted right through me .  Here’s a snippet of that email.

“It’s midnight. And it’s one of those nights where I don’t have my daughter and my life transforms into something else. The music is blaring. But only one song is playing. On repeat. The kind of song that hits me in the right spot on this particular night. My glass is full with wine. I so want to get drunk but my body doesn’t take more than a few sips. The creative juices are flowing.  But so are the tears.

I am in the strangest phase right now. I’ve been here since I returned from the States.  I thought it was just the settling back home thing, but this is something else…and I feel called to be really transparent with you girls because I can feel myself retracting with fear.

As I clean up the leaky love in my life (something my heart + throat chakra are craving right now), I am also experiencing intense feelings of loneliness and a lot of distrust.  I’m extremely sensitive to energies and to be honest it’s tripping me out.  I’m discovering things I would rather not know.  Take that back.  I’m just struggling with my body telling me things that are SO SPOT ON that I wish weren’t true.”

  • The love came flooding in. One of my babes would send me random love texts simply asking “how are you today babe?” They always made me smile. Another would pull oracle cards for me and send them via text message. Another would call me and entertain me with her crazy 8th chakra journey.  There were crystal healings, hugs with soul sistas, yummy home cooked food, sleepovers, tears, bonfire ceremonies, wine and lots of good reading such as Wild Nights by David Deida and Sacred Sexual Union by Anaiya Sophia).  I was starting to feel like myself again. (Big Lesson: You can’t do this alone. You mustn’t do this alone!!)
  • I find an old journal entry dated June 14th, 2011 declaring my life purpose and what I’m here to do in the world.  I laugh that a part of me needed to take this 2.5yr journey to come full circle. But thank god I did. Something tells me it would of been a false start with my ego leading the way.
  • The 3 soul essences I journeyed with this month were wild. I’m glad I make it to the other side. That’s all I have to say.

December 2013.

  • Then men begin to enter my world.  The first is Mike Hrostoski. I’m not usually drawn to mens work but I feel like I’m getting sucked into a vortex reading his website and can’t leave no matter how hard I try.  I resonate deeply with so much of his work that I’m compelled to contact him. Turns out there’s only 1 degree separation between us thanks to my Boulder trip. At this point, all I can do is laugh at how the Universe is always working in mysterious ways.
  • I feel like I’m finally starting to understand this whole Soul journey/8th chakra thing. I’m getting the messages loud and clear.
  • Then BOOM! Apparently, before I can fully transition into my new world (and the new year), there is one last thing that exists from my old world that is yet to be destroyed: my relationship and involvement with an online community of 600+ women.  It was here I saw clearly where I was hiding and where I was playing it safe. It was here that I could truly feel the contrast between soul and ego, fear and love.  My beliefs about community, sisterhood, relating, change and leadership were taken to a whole new level of LOVE. And my stripper soul essence led the way. That’s what inspired this post about freedom.
  • Fear creeps in. No one is on this path I am on. I ask for a sign, a miracle, something to assure me I’m exactly where I need to be. I visit the online School of the Modern Mystic and watch “Manifesting with the White Light”.  Less than 48hrs later I have the honour of meeting this divine soul in person and watching her perform LIVE. She reminds me “I am a girl on fire.”
  • I unplug from social media, the internet and my phone. It’s time to come back to the real world and as I do I quickly notice my self-love tank is empty. My body craves water. I swim in oceans, fresh water creeks, swimming pools and take super long showers. My body craves the earth. I walk barefoot, I hug the trees, I fall asleep on the grass in the shade and I lay on the gigantic rocks as I soak in the sun. I crave mother earth, the sacred feminine. As I surrender to these cravings I experience ecstasy in every way my soul deeply desires. And I surround myself with love and ONLY love: my family and these spunky monkey’s from the 90′s.
  • I experience 6 soul essences in one month. I’m spent! And relieved. Only one soul essence to go.

To be continued…

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Have you ever found yourself tripping up in other people’s business? And by “someone else’s business” I mean, have you ever had thoughts like:

“She shouldn’t treat her friends like that.”
“He should be there for the kids more.”
“She needs to stop lying to everyone and hiding behind her bullshit excuses and just tell the truth!”
“He should just stand up to her.”
“She shouldn’t be getting married so soon.”
“She should be there for me! I’m always there for her but she’s never there for me.”
“He shouldn’t shut down like. He should express how he’s feeling.”
“She needs to launch already! She should of launched months ago!”
“She shouldn’t have gone behind my back like that.”
“He shouldn’t react like this. He’s so angry”
“She should be investing her money into her business and her dreams, not on tattoos and clothes and partying.”

If so, then you’re going to enjoy this audio I recorded for you.

Today, I read a page from LOVING WHAT IS by Byron Katie. If you have not read this book yet, I highly recommend it. Byron Katie shows you how a simple yet transformative inquiry technique can free you in ways you only ever imagined.  This inquiry technique uses the following four powerful questions and a turnaround:

1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
4. Who would you be without that thought?
and
Turn it around.

This practice takes a little warming up to. But when applied to the thoughts behind your suffering, and having a direct experience of what is, you are in for some serious liberation.

For now, lets simply soak in the wisdom embedded in this single page together with the intent of empowering and inspiring us to stay in our own business so we can live own own life instead of wasting away living someone else’s.

Click play.

 

Did this resonate? Did this spark something in you? Where have you been stuck in someone else’s business? How do you stay in YOUR business?

Tell me in the comments below.

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On Wednesday night I joined forces with Belinda Davidson and answered your questions.  Unfortunately, we spent the first 30 minutes talking to each other because I forgot to take everyone off hold!  So if you were one of the people listening to the beautiful waiting music, my sincerest apologies.

The good news is that I was still able to record the FULL HOUR so you haven’t missed out on anything.

Here are some of the topics we covered thanks to the amazing questions we received:

  • how to tell the difference between your soul voice and your ego voice
  • how to amplify your clairvoyance skills
  • celibacy and the path to enlightenment
  • bypassing sexual energies vs transmuting sexual energies
  • embracing and accepting one’s sexuality
  • attracting a loving relationship
  • how working with your chakras will enhance pregnancy and connection to baby
  • transitioning from your current job/career to your dream job/career
  • overcoming burnout and resentment

Click play and enjoy!

This LIVE D&M was all in the name of celebrating Belinda Davidson’ School of the Modern Mystic yearly enrolment on the 10th March (mark it in your calendar!).

You can check out the free training series here where Belinda teaches you the following:

  • why chakric is the key to a marvellous life
  • how to discover your life’s purpose
  • quick tips to becoming psychic
  • protecting yourself from negative energy once and for all
  • why manifesting doesn’t work and how to get it to work every single time

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HOT WOMEN TO WATCH is a monthly feature where I put the spotlight on one powerful and soulful woman whose work I’m appreciating and cheering on because something tells me this is just the beginning.

chanelle

She is mysterious, yet open.
She is gentle, yet strong.
She is sweet, yet fierce.

Her big brown, green and gold eyes will captivate you.  Her sweet beautiful voice will seduce you.  And all those tattoos will intrigue you.  When she’s not busy spending her days capturing the light with her camera or expressing the light through her voice, you’ll find her cooking up a vegetarian masterpiece in the kitchen and loving up her two kids, who she lovingly refers to as spawns, and her best friend and husband Gabe, who is her heart and home.

This month’s HOT WOMAN TO WATCH is an amazing photographer and singer all the way from Phoenix Arizona named Chanelle Sinclair.

I was blessed to meet Chanelle some five months ago while I was in Phoenix. Our encounter was brief. It was just one late night, in a quiet restaurant with two other gorgeous women.  But the impact of that night lasted forever. So much love and beauty and joy.   And lucky for us, someone captured the moment perfectly.

Screen Shot 2013-10-21 at 9.50.48 AM

Conversations between me and Chanelle revolved around the Enneagram (it’s changed both our lives), life after divorce (way better than we imagined), motherhood (a game changer and our best teacher) and magic (because that’s what life really is).

It wasn’t until I returned back to Australia that I learnt about Chanelle’s talents as a photographer and a singer (she’s humble like that).  But if I lived in Phoenix she’d be the first person I’d hire to do a photoshoot with and I’d be in the front row wherever she sang.

Introducing Chanelle Sinclair…

{Lets dive deep and meaningful…}

From breakdown to breakthrough, what was this moment for you?  The defining moment that changed e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.  

I have had oh, so many moments, big ones. But I would have to say the biggest was the moment I decided to let go of an empty marriage and an empty religion and all my “security” and all my everything and just free-fall into freedom. I knew I had to do it or die inside, as I had been over the years, slowly…and despite epic opposition from many “friends” (who felt that I was being selfish, or must have been on drugs or gone off my nut or ben possessed by the devil, who knows…).

I let go of everything everyone ever told me I had to be and just stripped down to my soul. Embraced the unknown. Faced myself. Left my home, got a divorce, lived on my mom’s couch for two months, did not eat or sleep or smile for months. Had no job, went from stay-at-home mom, avid church-goer, wife of almost ten years to penniless, shut out of my own bank account, car broke down, ex husband and in-laws conniving to keep my children from me at every turn.

The deepest, darkest depths. Questioning everything I had done and was doing…. and you know what I found?

Strength. And LOVE. So. Much. Love. Love for my children – fierce love. Love for life, for creativity, for MYSELF, for everyone around me. I found I could breathe on my own, without a book, or a small minded man from a pulpit telling me how.  Just Love. I found that I was made of stardust and strength, music and madness, and love love and more love.  

I am so thankful to have a life free to live this love in every way now. Through my art, my music, my cooking, my friendships, my poetry my be-ing.  I have never looked back.

What has been the most challenging thing to let go of so you could put yourself first (be it your health or your desires or your inner wisdom)?  And what helped you let it go?

My guilt.

I had to learn how to be “selfish”, and let go of all guilt. I was wasting away (physically, spiritually, emotionally) and I realized if I was going to be ANY good to anyone else, ESPECIALLY my two amazing children, I would need to learn to nurture myself, to feed my soul, without apology, before I could be of any use to my children, my love, my friends, the world.

In doing so, I had to let go of a lot of pretenses, a lot of religious conditioning, a lot of abusive bullshit put into my head that I was not good enough and undeserving of love and care. I realized that I would NEVER let anyone speak to my children the way I was spoken to, or learned to speak to myself. So I stopped. And every day is a challenge to keep that new, strong voice clear, but it is a choice I make. For me. For them. For you.

I have surrounded my heart with beautiful souls who fill me with the light and love i need to keep myself looking up and moving forward, people who always cheer me on. My love is one such soul. Grateful every day to be in love with and loved by such a good and wonderful heart as my Gabe, my friends (faraway, and near). I love you all.

Why do you do what you do?

Because I am a story-teller. Because I want to change the way people view life. I want them to stop the 9-5, the rat race, to look up, look around, look within and see the little things that make our existence so incredibly magical.

I have always been a little different. A little weird. A little (ok, a LOT) awkward. Head always in the clouds. And I just feel the need to share that different perspective with anyone who has a heart open and ready to see and hear and feel a new way of being, through photography, music, writing.

I do what I do because it just happens. Because I live all of me, out loud, all the time. Because I do what I want. And I wish everyone would.

What’s one of your favourite photographs that you’ve taken? And why?

Mmm that is tough. My photos all tell so many differing stories, and I love them all, for the moments they captured for me.

movement in shadow

I will say, this one particular photo, holds a very special kind of magic, and I return to it often. It is not a great photo.  It will never win any awards for the technicality behind it – for there was none. It is out of focus, all a blur, but it holds so much emotion for me.

It tells the story of shadow and light and motion and stillness all at once. A wordless homage to the contrast between day and night, heart and mind, desire and choice.  I call it “movement in shadow”.

When it comes to capturing the moment with the camera, what advice are you always giving?

Light. Use. Natural. Light. When you photograph something, you are not capturing an object, you are capturing light. Embrace the light.

What books are you always telling people to read?

Besides ALL OF THEM, uhhh….

The Artist’s Way (a true LIFE CHANGER), any book on the Enneagram, The Magic of Xanth (favorite fantasy book of ever), A Year in Provence by Peter Mayle, anything Ruth Reichl writes is pure poetry about food,  and last but not least, a little gem called The Black Pearl by Scott O’Dell, which is my favourite little book of all time.

When do you feel most powerful, free, alive & turned on?

Ohhh. Mmm, those four words. Some of my favorite things to be, right there.

When I am driving, free and clear on the freeway, fast, windows down, music UP, wind in hair, singing LOUD.  I feel like a free bird.

When it is gloomy and raining, moody blue skies… I feel creative, dreamy, universe of thought swirling from heart to pen and photograph… life and love and heART flowing.

There is nothing like Led Zeppelin or Jack White blasting through speakers to get my power buzzing right to my feet, can’t help but MOVE. I feel like a fucking badass wailing along to Seven Nation Army and Ramble On.

And. When I feel Seen, and truly Known, i am more turned on than the brightest lights and all the fire of the sun combined.

What excites you most about 2014?

Everything. This is my year. I decided. My word for 2014 is “intention”, and I intend to live fully every moment, every breath.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word CONTRAST?

“Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final”

― Rainer Maria Rilke

Life is all about contrast. We cannot know light without darkness. And it is all beautiful. 

{Now for the short and sweet…}

I’m interested in…People. Food. Music. Photography. Magic. Words. Moonlight. Stars. Birds. Whiskey. Everything. uh huh.

I believe…in love. Nothing more, nothing less. It is everything.

I no longer…take shit. From anyone.

I desire…peace.

In my experience…there is always, always something good to find in every situation.  I find that if you start each day looking to find at least one small thing to be thankful for, you will find more, and more and soon, you will realise how beautiful your life truly is.  And, there is nothing NOTHING better than a good drink shared on a good night with good music and good friends.  It does the heart good good good.


 

Connect more with Chanelle here

Website | Instagram | Soundcloud | Facebook

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What happens when a Medical Intuitive, Ghost Activist and White Light Advocate helping people discover their soul purpose meets with a Deep Coach, Embodiment Teacher and Sexual Muse helping people lead with soul in life, love and work?

A whole lot of magic.
A whole lot of love.
A whole lot of truth.
A whole new level of awareness.

Belinda & Susana

This Wednesday evening I’m joining forces with Belinda Davidson (School of the Modern Mystic Founder) in a 1hr LIVE D&M Conversation.  We want to answer YOUR burning questions about healing, soul purpose, chakras, manifesting, mindfulness, past lives, coping with change, relationships and sex.  Ask us anything you want and we’ll answer it

If you already know what your question is get in early HERE.  If you can’t make the time of this call, you can still submit your question and hear the answer in the recording.

Save these call details.

Wednesday 5th March, 8:30pm QLD
You can convert to your time zone using this link: http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html
(Simply choose ‘Australia – Queensland – Brisbane’ to convert from.)

Call in via Skype for free
Connect for free with the Skype ID: joinconference
Then enter Conference ID: 352664#
(simply type the skype ID into the keypad screen)

Call in via phone:
Find your local call in number here.
Phone the number then enter Pin Code: 352664#

To listen in via the Web, visit:
http://InstantTeleseminar.com/?eventID=52435749
(please note you cannot ask questions live if you are listening in via the web)

The occasion? 

Belinda Davidson’ School of the Modern Mystic is opening for it’s yearly enrolment on the 10th March (mark it in your calendar!) and we’re celebrating!

My recommendations are few and far between but having worked privately with Belinda for over 12months now (one of the best things I ever did) and getting to see behind the doors of her School, it is without a doubt that this is the most comprehensive training program I have ever seen when it comes to energy healing, chakra health, mindfulness and manifesting. And I’m proud to be an affiliate.

You can check out the first 3 videos from the free training series here.

video1sommvideo3sommvideo2somm

 

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