Deliriously Deep

{Hot Women to Watch is a monthly feature where I put the spotlight on one beautiful soul whose work I’m appreciating and cheering on because something tells me this is just the beginning.} 

Tami Smith first came onto my radar back in October 2012 when I discovered my friend Abby Kerr (who was a Woman to Watch back in August 2012) teamed up with her at The Voice Bureau where they deliver ‘Empathy Marketing’.  Turns out Tami is a ‘search and social marketing specialist’ who has spent some time working with Google, however, these days she spends her time working with personal brands who do meaningful work in the world.

I’ve also discovered that Tami and I have a bit in common:

• we are both dominate Type 7 on the Enneagram
• our top voice values include depth, intimacy and innovation
• we love paradoxes
• we believe personal branding is all about the inner work FIRST, and
• we’ve both lived through two BIG transitions (motherhood and divorce) that have positively changed us a women.

All in all, she’s my kind of girl.  And she’s definitely someone I think you should get to know more.

So here she is: introducing Tami Smith…

{Lets go deep and meaningful}

From breakdown to breakthrough, what was this moment for you?  The defining moment that changed e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.
I’ve only experienced micro-moments, no defining moments in my life. You could say I have had a life of continual breakdowns and dawning points. There are three dawning points that have changed my course (or put me back on course).

1. I have lived with bouts of depression since 1998. The depression bouts are for fairly short, anywhere from three to five days a month. The contrast between my normal days and my dark days is significant. My normal days I feel a sense of connection with life, expansiveness, and mysterious wonder. My dark days I feel separate from life, everything is a threat, and I can barely move. This is one of my dawning points because I’ve come to understand I am always in control of my experience. I can always put my awareness on the things I value like, freedom and respect, curiosity, and innovation. I move from there, rather than fear and depression. It is how I’ve learned to trust life, not my feelings. My emotions change as life stays consistent.

2. Discovering the Enneagram. I was introduced to it in my early thirties but didn’t dive into it fully until a few years ago. I was at a point in life where all sense of fun and happiness had been wrung right out of me.  The enneagram helped me see and understand how I had fully participated in the process. I’ve rarely been content and I’ve always thought the lack of contentment meant I was fundamentally different (broken). I have been the odd one. The curious one always questioning the meaning of life, soul mates, love, openness, chaos, infinity. I’m dominant in Type Seven which explains why people have called me a “Free Spirit” and why I have longed for freedom. My second dawning point came through the enneagram and the realization my home is nowhere and everywhere. I’m coming home to myself because of understanding and non-judgement of my sevenish ways.

3. My third dawning point was through my divorce and the raw pain of realizing nothing would ever be enough; no relationship, children, job, dream, or identity could fill the longing in my heart.  When I finally exhausted myself, I reconnected with who I am that is unchanging.

What has been the most challenging thing to let go of so you could put yourself first (be it your health or your desires or your inner voice)?
Approval. I lived for approval from others because I didn’t have a sense of intrinsic worth. It has been a slow, and not pretty, process of letting go.

What advice are you always giving others when it comes to personal branding?
To be a personal brand is a vulnerable thing. Having a deep sense of who you are without external approval is foundational. Knowing who you are, how you are wired, and how your strengths play a role in your methodology is the first step. The second part is understanding who you serve and defining your right people or ideal client.   Understanding value through the eyes of ideal clients, and designing for them, isn’t about compromising your passions or purpose, it is expanding your purpose to include “who” you serve in a more intentional way.What books are you always telling people to read?
For Marketing:

Call to Action: Secret Formulas to Improve Online Results by Bryan and Jeffrey Eisenberg

Don’t Make Me Think by Steve Krug

Marketing in the Age of Google by Vanessa Fox

Marketing Metaphoria: What Deep Metaphors Reveal About the Minds of Consumers by Gerald Zaltman, Lindsay H. Zaltman

Non Marketing:

Becoming Real by Rose Kumar M.D.

Falling into Grace by Adyashanti

Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships: Healing the Wound of the Heart by John Welwood

When do you most feel like a Goddess?
I’ve honestly struggled with feeling like a Goddess. It is something I’m working on and opening to understanding. The most connected I feel to an inner-feminine power is when I spend time with trees or sitting in moonlight.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear: EMPATHY?
Trust. It is the only thing I trust because it is the only way I know to empty myself of my own point of view and see from another perspective. Empathy requires courage to let go of preconceived ideas. It is revolutionary.

{Now for the short and sweet}

I’m interested in…aging. Entering midlife has been transformational, scary, and powerful.

I believe…truth is in the moment.

In my experience…everything has been necessary for my awakening to meet life on life’s terms.

2013… is the time to see how happy I am.

Tami offers resources, group coaching, and high-touch consulting services to value based businesses who want to reach an intended audience with consistency and clarity. You can find her at Targeted Traffic Strategies or at The Voice Bureau where she delivers Empathy Marketing with Abby Kerr.  You can also connect with Tami on twitter here.

PS.  Also, check out this awesome article Tami just wrote called The Myth of the Ideal Client (one of my favourite articles to date!).

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{Hot Women to Watch is a monthly feature putting the spotlight on one beautiful soul who’s work I’m appreciating and cheering for} 

This month it’s all about Maria Golding, a Holistic Motherhood Coach & Baby Sleep Professional.  She has over 25 years experience in the health industry from Midwifery to Paediatrics to Child/Youth/Adult Mental Health.  Plus, she’s a Nia Brown Belt Practitioner.  And she’s also the latest Feature Guest to join Selfish for 27 days to share her wisdom, especially for mothers (and anyone who needs more pleasure in their life).

I first met Maria online just over 2 years ago in a private facebook group for a program we were both doing online (do not underestimate the connections and friendships you make online!!!). We were one of the few people based in Brisbane and so I organised a meetup.

The instant I met Maria in person I was flooded with so much warmth and support just by being in her presence.  She’s grounded, compassionate, wise and loving.  She’s sensual, confident, sexy and wildly feminine.  She’s the woman you go to when you need to be reminded that all is well.  She’s the woman you go to when you need to remember the power of pleasure….and the power of being a woman AND a mama.

To me she is my Mama Maria. And I hope she becomes your Mama Maria too.

Introducing Maria Golding…

{Lets go deep and meaningful}

From breakdown to breakthrough, what was this moment for you?  The defining moment that changed e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.

It was when my first child was a toddler. I was 26. I’d been suffering from chronic back pain from skeletal issues and a spinal disc injury from nursing at the age of 21. Every day I was in pain. I couldn’t sit for too long or travel on long car trips. I was up during the night taking pain killers. I was constantly stretching and doing yoga at home to get relief. Chiropractic and physio appointments were twice weekly and ongoing for months. The medical specialist told me there was no cure, only management. His best suggestion was to put myself in hospital in traction every three months. Depressing!

Underneath my positive and optimistic exterior there was a sad and desperate young woman who was giving up on ever having a normal life. Yet I knew I’d do ANYTHING to make sure I was a great mother. Motherhood to me was THE most important job of my life. A mother in constant pain was NOT the sort of mother I wanted to be.

One day I found myself on my knees in prayer. I was broken. I couldn’t take it any longer. I sobbed for hours and lay in surrender. I’d given up. I admitted to God or the Universe that I no longer had any hope. I handed it over. I was done.

Something happened that night. A mysterious sense of peace came over me. I stopped trying to figure it out. I just let go.

That was 21 years ago. As I type this now I have a body that’s super vibrantly healthy. I live with the sensation of so much pleasure. Back pain for me only happens when I don’t give my body the movement it needs.

The search for a cure for my pain has taken me on the ride of a lifetime. From an amazing osteopath to many healing modalities to spirituality, alternative health and restorative Pilates. I travelled to India twice and sat in ashrams meditating for hours. I’ve sat at the feet of spiritual masters and absorbed every bit of wisdom I could. Countless books, talks, chanting, professional training, seminars. Creative therapies, Journey work and counselling. Dealing not only with my physical pain but also the pain in my mind, emotions and spirit.

And then my greatest discovery of all was Nia- a body-mind-spirit movement practice that taught me how to live in my body with pleasure. To move in a way that’s healing and life- enhancing. To access the sensation of the ‘Joy of movement’.

If it wasn’t for my pain I wouldn’t have found the answers to my deepest questions. “Who am I?” “Why am I here?” “What is my purpose”?
I wouldn’t have been so deeply grateful for the exquisite pleasure of living in this amazing body.
I wouldn’t have understood the importance of creating a life with such passion and purpose.
I wouldn’t have been able to bring such deep compassion and wisdom to motherhood myself, and to the many other mothers and babies who I care for.

What is the best advice you’ve ever received when it comes to motherhood and taking care of yourself?

Two things:

1. Give yourself the PERMISSION to take time out to replenish, energise and heal.
Its soooo important. I was constantly trying to BE EVERYTHING for my children. There was part of me who thought no one else could do it as well. I had that whole martyr thing going on.  What I learnt is that our children so desperately want US to be happy. They don’t want us to be perfect. They want us to be real. To get our own needs met so we can come back and delight in them.

We need to have our own space, time, and pleasures.  When our own ‘cup is full’ we can give intelligently to our children. More loving, less resentful. This is why I strongly suggest that mothers find networks of support. It really does take a village to raise a child.

2. Do your own inner work.
I remember taking the advice to go on a personal development three day retreat when my youngest baby was nearly one. It was a hard decision to leave my children as I’d never been away from them for more than a day.

That retreat was just what I needed. I came back with renewed vigour and more self  awareness. I realised that parenting had triggered some of my own childhood issues which were getting in the way of being the mother I wanted to be. By giving myself the time to explore these emotional triggers with loving support I was able to begin to heal. I felt lighter and lovelier. My heart was wider. My relationship with my husband went to a deeper level. There was greater freedom and joy in my parenting instead of the constant worry.

Since then I’ve regularly given myself permission to do inner work. To sweep clean my cluttered mind and offload my emotional baggage. To get in touch with my spirit. The part of me that’s creative and divine and connected to a greater wisdom.

What has been the most challenging thing to let go of so you could put yourself first (be it your health or your desires or your inner voice)?

Along the way I’ve let go of financial security to follow my intuition for my health, my family’s health, my children’s education and to follow my soul purpose for work. We sold our family home and chose to rent. I declined a high paying health job. I stopped working as much and spent more time being with my adolescent children. We funded our boy’s education at a school with heart and similar values. My husband took some time off work to follow his dream of private practice.

Basically, we got off the treadmill of wealth creation and decided to do what’s really important to us. After the death of a girlfriend a few years ago I realized that life could be gone in an instant. I decided I needed to step up and shine to the best of my potential. To do it NOW. To share wisdom and make a difference in the lives of as many mothers and children as possible.

There has been many times along the way that I’ve literally been shaking in fear. Times when there is almost no money in the bank. I’ve learnt to put one foot in front of the other and trust. Always, always I’ve been taken care of. The person, the money, or the opportunity to make the money to pay the bills has come out of nowhere. I’ve witnessed many of these miracles happening along the way.

What books are you always telling people to read?

Parenting from the inside out: Daniel Siegel

Helping your Baby to Sleep: Ann Gethin & Beth Macgregor

To be delighted in! What we want and need: a baby’s view. Neil Alcorn

The Artists Way: Julia Cameron

Walking in this World: Julia Cameron

Conversations with God. Books 1,2 & 3 : Neil Donald Walsch

The Journey: Brandon Bays

The Celestine Prophesy: James Redfield

Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts: Regena Thomashauer

A New Earth: Eckhart Tolle

When do you most feel like a Goddess?

After doing a Nia Intensive training (the Nia Technique created by Debbie Rosas www.NiaNow.com  www.niaaustralia.com.au ).I’m deliciously in my body after dancing, moving and practicing awareness for a week. I feel sensual, fully alive and in love with the skin I’m in.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear: MOTHERHOOD?

The opportunity to become more real and more beautiful as a person.
The opportunity to discover a greater love than you could ever know.
The greatest challenge of your life!

{Now for the short and sweet}

I’m interested in... the power of sensuality and pleasure to enhance our life force energy, creativity and connectedness

I believe… we can change the world through the next generation of children. This is why we need to love, honour, inspire, educate and fully support mothers

In my experience… it often takes pain of some kind to motivate change for the better. See it as a gift

2013… is the year of embracing the feminine on a global scale as we seek balance and bring more love and wisdom to all aspects of society.

Connect with Maria here:

www.mariagolding.com

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{Hot Women to Watch is a monthly feature putting the spotlight on one beautiful soul who’s work I’m appreciating and cheering for} 

This month, it’s all about Belinda Davidson, an Australian Medical Intuitive, creator of School of the Modern Mystic & advocate of the White Light which aids physical healing, energy renewal, unlocking creative potential & intuitive abilities. (You may recall the sneak peek of our video interview I did with Belinda for Selfish for 27 days back in September 2012.  You can see it here).

Belinda first came on my radar during a phase in my life where I was looking for some deep energetic healing.  I had never worked with a medical intuitive but knew I really wanted to after my curiousity for this work hit an all time high after devouring Carolyn Myss’ book “Anatomy of the Spirit”.

Sure enough, Belinda helped me heal a karmic-crazy relationship, let go of a business partnership before it officially began and reminded me of my life purpose.

That was nine months ago.

From the bottom of my heart and the core of my soul, Belinda is the real deal.  She’s genuine, trusting, honest and a woman of high integrity.

Introducing Belinda Davidson…

{Lets go deep and meaningful}

From breakdown to breakthrough, what was this moment for you?  The defining moment that changed e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.
In 2007, exhausted from working too much as a medical intuitive, and trying to help people heal, I have a mini nervous breakdown. I slept for almost an entire month, and wanted to quit my profession.

I was handed a copy of The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle, and my intuition told me to stop everything, cancel all my session and sit and meditate.  I thought I knew how to meditate, but really I didn’t. I had been doing beginner stuff and now it was time to do the advanced module.

I sat on my seat in my office and perched like a bird for hours, practicing mindfulness. I observed myself and my surroundings, and it was really challenging.  I had never been so still and quite before and at times I found the experience so intense that I wanted to jump up off my seat and run away screaming. But I stayed put and perched because I knew I needed to change my life.

This went on for about 10 days. Reading Tolle, perching, breathing, (freaking out!!) and suddenly I had an experience. I experienced myself watching myself, it was like being out of my body, and I saw that I was made up of a light and dark self. I saw that for many years I had desperately tried to understand the dark part of me, in an attempt to dig my way through the dark tunnel to get to the light in me.  I, like many people, was convinced that if I just keep digging further into the dark, keep trying to psyco-analyse myself and my shadow that I could one day, finally, dig that hole through to the light. In this spontaneous experience, I saw that I didn’t need to dig in the dark to find the light, I just had to align myself with it.

The next day the White Light came to me for the first time and started to heal me. That was the beginning of a TOTALLY different life………..

 What has been the most challenging thing to let go of so you could put your Self first (the truest part of you)?
Needing to know how things will turn out. Needling to control, and feel like I need to be productive and ‘get things done.’  I’m a very practical, ‘roll up my sleves’ and get things done type of girl. I really needed to learn to surrender, and let go and let god.

How has mamahood impacted your life?
How hasn’t it? LOL. I could write a novel about that question but in keeping it short, it has taught me compassion and how to put another person first.  Putting another person first has allowed me to also put the White Light first and be a more effective vessel for it’s wonders. I can now get myself and my agenda more out of the way and show up the way the White Light asks of me.

What’s some of the best advice you’ve ever received (about business, life or love) that you’re still living today?
Before I had Sarah, my daughter, she said to me, “Belinda, when you become a Mum, you learn that strength means knowing your boundaries and weaknesses, and respected them. Strength is reaching out and allowing others to help out.”

This was priceless advice because I started Motherhood knowing I couldn’t do it all and not expecting that. Most women get trapped in the ‘supermum’ complexion, which is harmful to both mothers as well as their children.  I freely share Sarah with all of my family…. I’m sure that is why she is so balanced and fun. (and cheeky!)

What books are you always telling people to read?
The Power of Now, by Eckhart Tolle. I’m his greatest fan. Also, The Happiness Trap, by Russ Harris. Both books are about the power of the present moment and how practicing mindfulness will completely revolutionise your life.

When do you most feel like a Goddess?
When I’m sending White Light out to thousands of people all around the world.

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear: MYSTIC?
Our destiny.

{Now for the short and sweet}

I’m interested in…love

I believe…the power of love (White Light is love)

In my experience…being present is the key to a magical life

2013…rapid and exciting global change.

Find Belinda here wwwbelindadavidson.com

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