Today’s post is in honour of celebrating  The Freedom Project by the beautiful Claire Obeid.  She’s asked me a few questions on what freedom looks like for me.

When you think about freedom what does it mean to you?

Total freedom means total responsibility.  Total responsibility for how I feel, what I think, what I do and how I do it.  It’s the power to think or act without any restraint, be it from external or internal forces.

How do you maintain a sense of freedom even in moments when you are busy, juggling life and obligations?

In times when my calendar is full or busy, I always remind myself that I chose my calendar to be full.  If it’s no longer feeling good, I have the power to make another choice, another choice that will have me feeling good.

These choices don’t necessarily mean that I have to reschedule commitments or let things go.  Sometimes it’s simply a matter of choosing to reframe my thinking so I can see things from a different perspective.

What does freedom feel like in my body?

In one of my meditations recently,  I found myself opening a door and being blinded by a white light.  Once my eyes adjusted I was standing outside looking over the most beautiful green rolling hills. The landscape reminded me of Montana.

Then I felt a powerful presence to my right.

When I turned to take a look, I found myself standing next to a big beautiful black horse.

Next thing I know, I’m on the horse.  There is no saddle.  There is no bridle. I can feel his incredible power and strength under the weight of my body and pulsing between my thighs.  He is untamed, wild and free.  And yet, I trust him…and for some reason, he trusts me.

My eye gaze finally shifts off the horse and out into the distance.

I feel my hands grip his mane a little tighter.
Then I feel my legs hug his body a little harder.
Then I feel my body lean forward…as if I was getting ready for the race of my life.

Then just like that, he took off galloping.

It was exhilarating.
It was liberating.
It was ecstatic.

There was no race.
There was no finish line.
There was no place to get to.

There were no agendas.
There were no restrictions.
There were no limitations.

Here I was, on the back of a wild horse, whose only purpose was to run free.

I’ve had many visceral experiences of freedom, but this was something else.

If freedom were a colour, what would it be?

Black.

It’s the void.
The mysterious.
The limitless.

It’s the endless night skies.
The dancing in the dark.
And the wild black horse.

It’s the stillness of my quiet mind.
The depth behind my closed eyes.
And the courage to be with what I do not know.

But it’s also white.

It’s the light.
The perfection.
The limitless.

It’s the blank page waiting to be written on.
It’s the lightness of letting go.
And it’s the joy of new beginnings.

It’s the orgasmic wave that takes over my body.
It’s the lightning bolt of truth that wakes me up.
And it’s the pure ecstatic moments of oneness.

If freedom were a song, what would it be?

Silence by Delirium (tiesto’s remix).

This song is so timeless. And the lyrics are so profound, especially these ones:

“I have seen you
in this white wave
you are silent
you are breathing
in this white wave
I am free”

This song hits me in the right spot every.single.time.

Can you describe the opposite of freedom?

For me, the opposite of freedom is bondage. Bondage to my own boundaries, beliefs, automatic patterns and conditioned responses.  Bondage to my  own inner prison. Bondage to the past or the future.

It feels suffocating, tight and restrictive.
It feels draining, icky and repetitive.
And it feels fearful, limiting and powerless.