“When we dismiss our desire as bad or unacceptable, we never get close enough to observe it, to feel it and thus to receive its message.” — Justice Schanfarber

The realm of sexual fantasies and sexual desires is a huge breeding ground for shame, especially when those fantasies and desires bump up against our sense of identity.

Helping me unravel and explore this realm today is special guest, Justice Schanfarber. He’s a mindfulness based counsellor and certified Hakomi Therapist who works with individuals, couples and families both in person at his private practice in Campbell River, Canada and online via Skype. He draws on numerous complementary modalities and wisdom traditions including archetypes, the enneagram, sexual and erotic energies, non-violent communication, soul work, family systems theory, yoga, and zen paradox.

Justice is also an incredible thought-provoking writer (which is how I discovered him – a friend shared one of his articles about the spiritual journey and the soul journey). His articles have been featured on the Huffington Post and The Good Men Project.

You’ll notice that this interview is contemplative, insightful, deep, grounding and most importantly, inviting. Here’s some of the things we discussed in this episode:

• what defining moment led Justice to becoming a counsellor
• the number one lesson from his marriages
• how to distinguish between your fantasies and your desires and why this matters
• what symptoms can arise when you deny or repress your desires
• understanding conflict for what it is
• what the differences are between counselling, therapy and coaching

Click play below (50mins)

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If you have any questions regarding this topic send them through to me. Click on the here for ways to get in touch.

Big Love

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