I don’t know about you but I cannot look forward to the year ahead without looking back at the year that’s just gone.

Rewind to December 30th 2011.  It was my first astrology reading with Tali Edut from The Astro Twins.  I had chosen to delve deeper into astrology so it’s insights could help me plan for 2012.  I sensed it was going to be a big one as I was on the verge of taking a big leap of faith and the fear of it was starting to send me into paralysis.  But I knew it was all part of some crazy Saturn Return I was riding.

And that’s exactly what Tali confirmed.

But, what I wasn’t prepared for what she said next.

“The toughest part is about to happen now.  It started two weeks ago and will last until Valentines Day.  Susana, this is now the time for growing up, becoming independent and being strong emotionally and spiritually”.

I could of cried.  I sensed my biggest fears were about to come to life.

Instead I laughed.  Life was seriously starting to feel like a big joke.

But it was here, I decided that my word for 2012 would be STRENGTH.  Actually, I felt like STRENGTH had chosen me.

I kicked off 2012 with:

+ An ugly breakup.  {This is called independence}

+ Moving out of my parents and into my own apartment.  And not just around the corner but 90minutes down the road, trading the coast for the city.  {This is called growing up – round 2 in my case}

+ Put both of these together and you get one determined and equally shit scared mamma as she figures out how the hell she’s going to rely solely on herself to financially support her family for the very first time.

+ And the very first post for 2012.

It was a tough beginning to the year, but it catapulted me in the direction of my dreams.  As a result, 2012 was filled with many things to celebrate, more than I could of imagined.  {highlights included: moving into my own apartment, enrolling in the Deep Coaching certification program, upgrading my car, working with incredible women, healing my relationship and financially supporting myself + my family}.

2012 was also filled with many lessons that came my way, especially the lessons that are deeply embedded in my bones. {these included: you can’t tell someone how to love you, but you can CHOOSE how to be in relationship with someone’s loving.  TOTAL freedom means TOTAL responsibility.  Paying attention to your money is an exquisite act of self-care}.

But 2012 is nothing more than a manifestation of choices made from moment to moment, day to day, week to week, month to month.  

That’s why I like to pay particular attention to the choices that propelled me forward and filled me with joy {like moving to the city, launching A Night of Stillness, and investing in my self and my business}.  I like to pay equal attention to the choices that left me feeling icky and a 100 miles from where I truly wanted to be {like not trusting my intuition or speaking my truth at pivotal moments and paying the price for it later}.

But the best part of these reflections is the releasing, the letting go of everything that is not needed as I move forward into 2013 (whether it’s been my choice to release them or divine intervention).  This includes people, projects, belongings and beliefs.

Looking back is a deep process.  And it’s thoroughly healing.  But the best part of it all, is that it makes moving forward feel so much lighter and brighter and clearer. (And who doesn’t want that?)

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How about you…

Instead of just celebrating the highlights and acknowledging the lessons, can you pinpoint
a) the decisions that propelled you forward and filled you with joy? and…
b) the decisions left you feeling icky and 100 miles away from where you truly wanted to be?

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P.S: I’ll be back on Monday with insights as to how I’m moving forward in 2013.

P.P.S: Limited one-to-one coaching sessions opening up next week.  Subscribe to my newsletter to get first dibs.